Adding extensions, whether it be braids, crochet braids, or full out sew-in weaves, have long been debated for decades. Ultimately, I believe it's up to the discretion of the parent (or guardian). But for argument's sake, let's talk about it.
About a year ago, I posted a video on our Youtube channel of me putting some cute little braids in my daughter, Maiah's hair. She was 4 years old at the time. I received about eighty percent praise and thanks for the video tutorial and about twenty percent backlash. I honestly, wasn't expecting any backlash. I hadn't even thought twice about how other people might feel about me putting braids in my child's hair. I did it because it was convenient and I was trying to protect her very delicate hair. Maiah is quite the tomboy and she would roll around in dirt and sleep all crazy at night. I started noticing how dry her hair was starting to get in the back and it was also shorter in the back and on the sides than it was on the top. My first thought was to do some protective styling. Her hair was extremely short at the time so I didn't have a whole lot of options. With the length of her hair being so short, individual braids and crochet braids seemed to be the best options.
“I did it because it was convenient and I was trying to protect her very delicate hair. I hadn't even thought twice about how other people might feel about me putting braids in my child's hair.”
Most viewers thought the style was cute and girly but others thought I was harming my daughter's self-esteem by adding extensions to her hair. I honestly, understand the backlash on the surface. Our children are watching everything we say and do. They are learning from us whether we're intentionally teaching them or not. I get that. The question came up, "What am I teaching my daughter when I add hair extensions to her hair?" This is a very valid question.
My Experience
When I was a child, I had long relaxed hair all down my back. I don't actually remember having long hair as a child but i remember the adults around me always saying how long and pretty my hair was. That made me feel so special. I felt like my long tresses made me stand out from all the other little girls. Well, one Summer, my grandmother enrolled me in swim camp. I was so excited to learn to swim. Though I loved being in the water, my hair hated it. After countless days of swimming back to back and not rinsing the chlorine out of my hair, it didn't take long for my hair to dry up and break off. I didn't notice anything was wrong with my hair but those same adults who once gave my hair praises and adoration, made it clear (in my mind) that I had ruined my hair. One of my close (adult) family members said right to my face that my hair was ugly and my mom needed to do a better job. Can you believe that? Who says that to a child? I remember going home to my grandmother's house that night feeling so hurt. I thought the one thing that made me special was gone.
"...I remember the adults around me always saying how long and pretty my hair was. That made me feel so special."
What am I teaching my daughter?
Given my own childhood experiences, as it pertains to hair, I'm teaching her that her beauty is not wrapped up in her hair. Her beauty comes from within. How we look on the outside is constantly changing so we can't rely on that to make us feel beautiful. I teach her that her beauty comes from how she treats people, how she expresses love, and her amazing personality (just to name a few). That's what makes her beautiful. I'm very careful not to place much weight on the length or texture of her hair. It's just hair. It's not our hair (however beautiful) that makes us special. That's what I'm teaching my daughter.
"How we look on the outside is constantly changing so we can't rely on that to make us feel beautiful."
I knew I had done something right when my daughter thought the bald headed warriors from the movie Black Panther were so amazing and so beautiful. She told me she wanted to be a warrior just like them. I was one proud mama!
Are Extensions Harmful to a Child's Self-Esteem?
In my opinion, the extensions alone are harmless. It's an accessory much like barrettes, beads, and play wigs. But it can become harmful if a child is led to believe her own natural hair isn't good enough or beautiful, or if the adults around her aren't nurturing her true beauty. We have to affirm our daughters' beauty everyday to prepare them to be in a world that says our hair is too kinky, our skin is too dark, and we're undesirable. It is 100% up to the parents to decide what age is appropriate for hair extensions of any kind. It's also up to the parents to decide if their child is emotionally ready or mature enough for extensions. Or, you may be totally against hair extensions and that's okay too. We have to do what's best for our children.
"We have to affirm our daughters' beauty everyday to prepare them to be in a world that says our hair is too kinky, our skin is too dark, and we're undesirable."
I personally don't have a problem with children wearing braids but the second I feel my daughter is more comfortable in braids than her own natural hair, extensions will be outlawed at my house.
What do you think? What age is appropriate for hair extensions? Is there a difference between braids and full sew-in weaves or quick weaves? Comment below!
Here's the video!
Comentários